Who Can I Trust to Share My Story With Without Regretting

Can I ask you something?

Have you ever sat there with something on your heart and thought, “Okay… who can i trust with this?” Not “who will listen for five minutes,” but who will handle it with care.

Because sharing your story is holy. It’s tender. And it matters who holds it.

I’ve learned this the slow way. And I’ve also seen how healing it can be when you finally share with the right person, the kind of person who doesn’t rush you, fix you, or make it about them. Just safe presence. That’s a gift.

Who can i trust when I’m not sure who is safe?

Let’s start here. If you’re asking “who can i trust,” that doesn’t mean you’re suspicious or broken. It means you’re wise.

Some of us were taught that being a “good Christian woman” means telling everyone everything. Or never telling anyone anything. And neither one is healthy.

There’s a middle place. It’s called discernment.

Guarding your heart is biblical, not selfish

Proverbs 4:23 (CSB) says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.”

That verse has helped me so many times, especially when I felt pressured to explain myself, overshare, or hand my story to someone who hadn’t earned access to it yet.

Guarding your heart doesn’t mean you build walls forever. It means you choose doors. And you decide who gets a key.

Start small. You’re not behind.

If you’re thinking, “I should be past this by now,” can we just toss that thought out?

You’re allowed to take your time. You’re allowed to share in layers. You’re allowed to say, “I’m not ready to talk about that part.”

I love how gentle the process can be when we give ourselves permission to go slow. Even in the Made Whole writing process, I talk about pausing when you feel overwhelmed and grounding yourself in the present, reminding yourself you’re safe and God is with you.

Who can i trust? Signs someone is emotionally safe

Okay, let’s get practical. When you’re wondering “who can i trust,” I want you to have more than a gut feeling. (Your gut matters, but let’s give it some support.)

They don’t rush you or pressure you

Safe people don’t yank your story out of you.

They don’t say, “Just tell me already,” or “If you trusted me, you would.” They let you breathe. They let you decide what’s shared and what’s still private.

They keep your story private

This one is simple. And it’s huge.

A safe person doesn’t turn your pain into a prayer request for the whole group. They don’t “accidentally” mention it to someone else. They don’t treat your life like community news.

If you’re asking “who can i trust,” watch what they do with other people’s stories. That’ll tell you a lot.

They respond with compassion, not shock

I will never forget how many women have told me they stayed silent for years because they were afraid of being judged.

But when vulnerability is met with grace, something shifts. Shame starts losing its grip. Connection starts growing.

A safe person doesn’t have to have the perfect words. They just have to be kind.

They point you back to Jesus without preaching at you

There’s a difference between encouragement and a lecture.

Safe Christian friendships make room for both honesty and hope. They remind you God is near. They don’t make you feel like a project.

Sometimes it sounds like, “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Let’s pray.” Simple.

They can handle your “messy” without making you feel messy

I say this a lot because I believe it. You are allowed to show up messy.

When you’re deciding who can i trust, look for someone who doesn’t need you polished in order to love you.

Who can i trust? Red flags to pay attention to early

But here’s the thing.

Sometimes we don’t see the red flags until after we’ve shared. And I don’t say that to scare you. I say it so you can be prepared and not ashamed.

If you’re asking “who can i trust,” these are a few warning signs that matter.

They make your story about them

You share something tender, and suddenly you’re comforting them. Or they change the subject to their own experience every time.

That might not make them a terrible person. But it may mean they’re not your safe person for this part of your story.

They push quick fixes

Safe people don’t slap a Bible verse on your pain like a band-aid.

They might share Scripture (and yes, Scripture heals), but they also sit with you. They let it be a process.

They gossip, even “nicely”

If they have a pattern of sharing other people’s business, believe that pattern.

I know that sounds blunt. But if you’re asking “who can i trust,” this is one of the clearest indicators.

They dismiss your boundaries

If you say, “I’m not ready to talk about that,” and they keep pushing, that’s not love. That’s entitlement.

And you don’t owe anyone access to your story.

What to do when you’re still asking “who can i trust”

Let’s say you’re reading this and thinking, “Okay Jessica, I hear you, but I still don’t know who can i trust.”

I get it. So let’s make it simple. Here are a few steps that can help you move forward without rushing.

Start with God, then choose one next right person

Before you share with anyone, talk to the Lord first. Not because He’s the only one who can handle it, but because He can steady your heart.

Sometimes the prayer is short. “God, show me who is safe.” That’s enough.

You don’t have to hand someone the deepest part of your story first.

Share a small piece. Something real, but not the whole thing. Then watch what happens.

Do they listen well?
Do they keep it private?
Do you feel respected afterward?
Do you feel peace, or do you feel exposed?

Your body and spirit often tell the truth faster than your mind can explain it.

Choose people who value healing, not drama

I love community. I talk about it all the time because we need each other. We weren’t made to carry everything alone.

But not every circle is your inner circle.

Safe community is the kind where women can be real, be prayed for, and not be shamed.

Consider a counselor or mentor if it feels bigger than friendship

This is one of the kindest options sometimes.

If what you’re carrying is heavy or complex, a trained Christian counselor can be an incredibly safe starting place. It’s not “too much.” It’s wisdom.

And if you have a mature mentor in your church who is known for discretion and gentleness, that can be a beautiful next step too.

I want to say this clearly. Your story matters.

God redeems messy chapters. He does. And when the time is right, your testimony can help someone else breathe again.

But your testimony isn’t meant to be tossed out to whoever asks first.

There’s timing. There’s trust. There’s discernment. And there’s a difference between being open and being unprotected.

A simple “who can i trust” checklist you can come back to

If you want something you can screenshot in your brain, here you go.

Do they honor confidentiality?
Do they listen without fixing?
Do they respect boundaries without taking it personally?
Do they respond with compassion and steady presence?
Do they help me feel closer to Jesus, not farther from Him?

If the answer is mostly yes, that’s a good sign.

If the answer is mostly no, you’re not “too sensitive.” You’re paying attention. And that’s a good thing.

If you shared with the wrong person, you’re not doomed

I need this part in here because it happens.

Maybe you trusted someone and it didn’t go well. Maybe it got repeated. Maybe you were judged. Maybe you walked away thinking, “I knew better.”

Friend, breathe. God can still heal that.

You can course-correct. You can tighten the circle. You can rebuild trust slowly. And you can ask the Lord to redeem even that, because He’s kind like that.

And next time you find yourself whispering, “who can i trust,” you’ll have wisdom you didn’t have before.

With love and expectancy,
Jessica

Who Can I Trust to Share My Story With Without Regretting It?

Who can i trust when I’m not sure who is safe?