Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage: Real Habits to Reignite Oneness Through Faith
How many of you have ever looked across the dinner table and thought, "Who is this person?" Maybe that sounds familiar. Maybe it’s been a while since you felt that deep connection—that spark that makes married life more than just surviving side-by-side. Let me tell you, you are not alone. Spiritual intimacy in marriage is something so many couples crave but struggle to name or nurture, especially in the messier seasons of busy family life.
I remember a season when my marriage was more about schedules and logistics than oneness, finding God in hard times. Covered in crumbs, stuck in the grind, just trying to keep the kids alive. We all do it. But here’s what I learned, and what I want to pass on from our recent podcast episode: you can reignite spiritual intimacy in marriage with simple, practical steps. Not with grand gestures, but with faithful little habits that change the atmosphere of your days together, Christ-centered marriage advice.
Why Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage Feels Out of Reach
Let’s be honest. Spiritual intimacy in marriage can feel like a lofty goal. It’s easy to think it belongs to couples who pray for hours or go on marriage retreats every year. But for most of us? The realities of work, kids, and grief get in the way. I’ve walked through seasons where the only conversations my husband and I had were about groceries or bedtime routines, spiritual self care tips. It got to where we were living more like roommates than soulmates. But I learned it’s not about doing more, but choosing differently.
What Gets in the Way of Spiritual Intimacy?
- Busy schedules and exhausted bodies
- Unspoken disappointments and old hurts
- Letting kids or work always come first
- Silent routines replacing real conversations
I get it. I’ve lived it. But spiritual intimacy in marriage is not just about big moments. It’s about small yeses—tiny efforts that remind your spouse they matter to you and to God.
How Can Conversation Starters Help Reignite Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage?
Can I tell you something? One of the simplest ways to start building spiritual intimacy in marriage is to talk again, Faith-based marriage habits. I’m not talking about logistics. I mean, real, curious, sometimes awkward conversations that go beyond the surface, deeper relationship with God. In our last episode, we talked about how most couples only spend about 35 minutes a week on intentional conversation. That’s less than five minutes a day. It’s no wonder connection starts to fade.
Easy Conversation Starters That Work in Real Life
You don’t have to come up with deep questions on your own, Building empathy in marriage. I love using conversation starter cards (no shame in ordering a deck online). Throw in questions like “What made you laugh this week?” or “If you could have dinner with anybody from the Bible, who would it be?” My husband and I once spent 45 minutes talking about our favorite wedding memories. Not the vows. Not the flowers. The little things we forgot we loved.
- Share a childhood memory you never told before
- Ask “When did you feel closest to God this month?”
- Talk about a verse that encouraged you recently
- Plan a dream or goal for the next year—together
Here’s the thing. Your spouse needs to be known by you, right now, not just the person you married years ago. When you’re intentional with these small questions, you plant seeds of spiritual intimacy in marriage that grow and last.
What Everyday Habits Build Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage?
It’s not one big act that changes things. It’s what you do again and again, especially when it feels ordinary. I learned the hard way that if you want spiritual intimacy in marriage, you can’t leave time together to chance. You schedule everything else, so why not your marriage? We started putting each other on the calendar. Date nights, yes, but also “walk and talks” and simple check-ins at home, without the noise of our phones.
Simple Habits That Create Consistent Connection
- Set a weekly date night or walk—even if it’s just around the block
- Leave your phone out of sight for 30 minutes together
- Pray together, even just a short prayer, before bed or over your week
- Share a Scripture verse and talk about what it means for your marriage
- Ask “How can I lighten your load today?” and mean it
If you find yourselves only talking about to-do lists, try this: next coffee or dinner, agree that phones stay away, and use a conversation card. Listen. Laugh. Let it be awkward at first. The more reps you have showing up for each other, the more spiritual intimacy in marriage starts to feel normal again.
Making Space for God in Busy, Messy Seasons
I remember doing the dishes and realizing it wasn’t really about the dishes. When we serve each other in little ways, we’re saying "You matter. I see you." Small acts build trust and show your spouse you’re on their team. That’s true spiritual intimacy in marriage. And it’s not only about praying together (though that’s important). It’s also about sharing your real life, the unfiltered parts, and inviting God into those places.
“Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14, CSB) This verse sits right in the middle of my life. Little acts, done in love—not perfection, just presence. When you miss a day, or even a week, start again. God is not finished writing your story, and neither are you.
How to Keep Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage Fresh Through Changing Seasons
Maybe your kids are small, or maybe they’re adults living at home. Seasons change fast. Our priorities shift. But here’s what I know - spiritual intimacy in marriage doesn’t have to fade. We have to choose it, every day, in new ways that fit our life right now. Some weeks, it’s a shared prayer. Others, it’s grabbing twenty minutes for a walk. Sometimes, it’s just sitting together, phones away, sharing what’s on your heart.
Ways to Build Oneness When Life Gets Busy
- Put intentional time together on your calendar (yes, schedule it)
- Create rituals—morning coffee, evening prayers, weekly check-ins
- Try shoulder-to-shoulder activities (walks, projects, even chores)
- Give grace for missed days—start again tomorrow
- Stay curious about your spouse’s dreams and worries today
If you feel stuck in sameness or distance, start with fifteen minutes of connection, twice a week. Little by little, those minutes add up. And before you know it, you’re building a new normal where spiritual intimacy in marriage feels possible again.
Practical Steps to Grow Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage This Week
I know starting can feel awkward. Here’s what works for our family and so many couples I’ve walked with. Pick one small step and go for it - not someday, but this week. You can even tell your spouse, "I noticed we’ve been busy. Can we pick a card and talk for ten minutes after dinner?" Or, "Would you pray with me tonight?"
Action Ideas for Every Marriage
- Order a deck of marriage conversation cards online
- Plan a simple coffee date or walk, and leave phones away
- Set a recurring calendar event for intentional conversation
- Share a favorite Bible verse together and listen to each other's reflections
- Offer to lighten your spouse’s load in a specific way without being asked
Even if it feels small or clunky, trust that God uses small yeses. Spiritual intimacy in marriage is built on faithful little acts. Your steps today, no matter how imperfect, can create a foundation for real oneness tomorrow.
Let God Use Your Ordinary Moments for Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage
Life doesn’t slow down. But God meets us right here - in our cars, our kitchens, the late-night conversations where we wonder if intimacy is possible again. Spiritual intimacy in marriage isn’t about perfection. It’s about choosing presence. About showing up and inviting God into the messiest, busiest, most ordinary days.
If this encouraged you, go back and listen to our latest podcast episode, "Where Two Become One." We talk about the real, practical ways couples can move from surviving to thriving. God is not done writing your story, no matter where you find yourself today.
You can reignite spiritual intimacy in marriage. I promise, small steps make a difference. And you don’t have to do it alone. Our community is walking this road together, praying for marriages to reflect His love, forgiveness, and grace.
Friend, your marriage was meant for more than just doing life side-by-side. Let’s choose togetherness, one small act at a time. Grab your coffee, take your spouse for a walk, or start with one new conversation tonight. God honors every step toward oneness. I'll be cheering you on all the way.
If you want more stories and practical wisdom from women living out faith in real life, make sure to listen to the full episode here. And if you feel led, reach out and share your story. We’re all learning to put perspective into practice, together.
