Sharing Your Story When People Don’t Understand You

Can I ask you something?

Have you ever walked away from a conversation and thought, “Why did I even try sharing your story? They totally missed it.”

Yeah. That feeling is real. And it can make you want to tuck your testimony back into the safe little corner of your heart and never bring it out again.

But here’s what I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way). Sharing your story is not the same as getting everyone to understand your story. Those are two different things.

And when we mix them up, we end up carrying a weight God never asked us to carry.

So let’s talk about it. The misunderstood moments. The awkward responses. The people who mean well but still say the wrong thing. And how to stay grounded when sharing your story doesn’t land the way you hoped.

I used to think the hardest part of sharing your story was just saying the words out loud.

But honestly, the hardest part is what happens after. The pause. The response. The look on someone’s face when they don’t know what to do with what you just trusted them with.

Misunderstanding doesn’t always mean rejection

Sometimes people don’t understand because they can’t relate.

They haven’t lived it. They don’t have a category for it. They’ve never needed God in that exact way, so they don’t know how to respond when you talk about how He met you there.

And that doesn’t mean your story is “too much.” It might just mean they’re not the safest place for that part of your life. Discernment matters. I’m convinced the Holy Spirit nudges us to share what needs sharing, with whom, and when.

Sometimes the reaction is about them, not you

Can I say this gently?

People often respond from their own places of fear, pain, or defensiveness.

If your growth makes someone uncomfortable, they might try to shrink it down. If your healing highlights what they’ve avoided, they might get weird. If your boundaries remind them they don’t get unlimited access to you, they might call you “changed.”

And you know what? Maybe you have changed. That’s not a bad thing.

Sharing your story can expose who’s ready to treat it with care. It’s information. Not a verdict.

I want to give you something practical here. Not a pep talk. Just steady ground.

When sharing your story gets misunderstood, your nervous system can go into overdrive. You replay the conversation. You question your motives. You wonder if you said too much or not enough.

So this is what helps me.

Separate obedience from outcome

This one changes everything.

Our job is obedience. God’s job is outcome.

When you’re sharing your story, you are not responsible for controlling how it’s received. You can be honest, gentle, and clear. And then you can release it.

Because the obedience is yours, the outcome is God’s.

Let Jesus be your model when you feel misread

This is where Scripture steadies me.

1 Peter 2:23 says, “When he was insulted, he did not insult in return. When he suffered, he did not threaten but entrusted himself to the one who judges justly.” (CSB)

Jesus knows what it feels like to be misunderstood. Misquoted. Misjudged. And still, He stayed anchored.

And look at what He did. He entrusted Himself to the Father.

That’s an invitation for us, too. When sharing your story leaves you feeling exposed, you can hand the whole thing back to God. The words, the reaction, the awkward silence, all of it.

Ask yourself one clarifying question

This is a simple reset when your mind starts spiraling.

Ask, “Did God ask me to share?”

If the answer is yes, then you can breathe. You can stop re-litigating the moment. You can trust that God can do more with one obedient sentence than you can do with ten perfect explanations.

Let’s get super normal here.

Most of us are not standing on a stage with a microphone. Sharing your story usually happens in small moments. A coffee date. A text thread. A conversation in the church lobby when someone asks how you’ve been and you decide to be honest.

And that’s the place where we need wisdom.

I wish more women heard this early.

Sharing your story does not mean spilling every detail to prove you’re “free.” It doesn’t.

There are times to speak, and times to wait.

Being bold is about obedience, not over-sharing.

Sometimes silence is the most trusting thing we can do.

A few boundaries that protect your peace

These are simple. But they’re strong.

Decide ahead of time what parts of sharing your story are private right now.
Share the hope, not every detail (especially if details will distract from what God did).
Don’t give everyone a front row seat to your whole life.
Pay attention to peace. Surrender feels a lot like peace (even if you’re nervous).

And friend, if you’re still healing, you’re allowed to go slow. I’ve learned that healing in secret often comes before speaking in public.

This is the part nobody wants, right?

You finally get the courage to say the thing. You offer your story like an open hand. And then you get a response that feels sharp. Or dismissive. Or just plain awkward.

I’ve been there. Vulnerability can backfire sometimes, especially if people are not ready, don’t understand, or react from their own places of pain.

Give yourself permission to grieve the response

Even when you know it’s not personal, it can still sting.

So don’t rush past it. Take it to Jesus. Talk it out with a safe friend. Let your heart settle.

Then remind yourself of what’s true.

Here are a few phrases I come back to when sharing your story feels costly.

This isn’t about me, it’s about Him. My job is obedience.
The fruit might not show up right away, but God is working.
I can be both strong and gentle, with myself and with others.
Grace is always worth it, even when I’m the one who needs it most.

Then I try to do the next right thing. Pray. Rest. Keep showing up. (Even if I’m still processing.)

Let community carry some of the weight

We’re not meant to do hard things alone.

Sharing your story is lighter when you’re surrounded by safe women. The kind who don’t rush you. The kind who pray before they give advice. The kind who don’t treat your testimony like gossip.

We’re in this together.

Sometimes one bad reaction makes you want to stop sharing your story altogether.

But I want to say this with so much kindness. One response is not the whole story.

Even if one person doesn’t “get it,” someone else might find freedom because you spoke up.

You scatter seeds, even if you never see them grow.

Look for the “soil” God is giving you

I love the way this idea shows up in real life. God prepares our hearts first, then He opens doors for the story to find soil.

Not every space is good soil. Not every person is ready. And that’s okay.

But when God does bring the right person, the right moment, the right conversation, you’ll feel it. Not always as confidence. Sometimes it’s just quiet clarity.

Pray through a few simple questions

If you’re not sure what to share, I love praying through questions like these.

What does God want to communicate through my story?
Does this person need all the details or just the hope?
Am I willing to trust God with the outcome?

That last one gets me every time. Because sharing your story is an act of trust.

Let’s end with a few grounded steps you can actually take this week.

Before sharing your story, ask God for timing and the right listener.
Decide what part you’re sharing and why, hope first, not heaviness.
Share simply. One clear piece. One honest moment. You don’t need a full speech.
After sharing your story, release the response to God (even if it was messy).
Return to Scripture and let your heart settle in what’s true, not what was said.

Friend, sharing your story is brave. It’s also holy.

And even when people don’t understand, God does. He sees every chapter. He’s not confused by the messy middle. He’s not asking you to convince everyone. He’s just asking you to stay close and stay faithful.

And you won’t do it perfectly. I won’t either.

But we can keep showing up. Together.

Sharing Your Story When People Don’t Understand Where You’ve Been

Misunderstanding doesn’t always mean rejection