Sharing From Spirit or Flesh: How to Discern the Nudge

Can I tell you something honest? The question of (just kidding, no bold here) sharing from spirit or flesh can sneak up on us at the most normal times. A text you want to send. A post you want to write. A conversation where you suddenly feel like you need to say everything.

And the tricky part is this. Sometimes it’s God. Sometimes it’s our emotions. Sometimes it’s a mix, and we have to slow down long enough to tell the difference.

If you’ve ever walked away thinking, “Why did I say all that?” or “Was that obedience or was that… me trying to feel better?” you’re not alone. Not even a little.

Let’s keep it simple. Sharing from spirit or flesh is about what’s driving the share.

When I’m sharing from the Spirit, there’s usually a nudge. It’s gentle, but it’s steady. It’s not frantic. It’s not trying to prove anything. It’s like God saying, “Share this piece. Right now. With her.”

When I’m sharing from the flesh, it usually feels like a need. I need to be understood. I need to be validated. I need to feel in control of how I’m perceived. I need the pressure in my chest to go away.

And friend, I’ve done both. Plenty of times.

The nudge vs. the need

Here’s the thing I’ve noticed. The Spirit’s nudge doesn’t usually come with panic. The flesh’s need almost always does.

The Spirit can be very clear, but He’s not the God of confusion. He’s kind. And He’ll lead you with wisdom, not with pressure.

The flesh says, “Say it now or you’ll miss your chance.” The Spirit says, “You can trust Me with timing.”

It’s not about telling everything to everyone

I wish someone would’ve told me this early on. Sharing from spirit or flesh is not measured by how much you share. It’s measured by obedience and love.

Discernment matters. There are times to speak, and times to wait. Being bold is about obedience, not over-sharing.

And yes, sometimes silence is the most trusting thing we can do.

How many of you have ever felt that internal push to share, but you weren’t sure why you wanted to share? That’s where we get to practice discernment.

I’m going to give you a few “checks” I run my heart through. Not perfectly. But consistently.

Check the motive

This is the big one for sharing from spirit or flesh. What’s my why?

Am I trying to help someone, or am I trying to relieve my anxiety?
Am I trying to glorify God, or am I trying to get approval?
Am I sharing hope, or am I trying to control the outcome?

One of the simplest questions I come back to is, “Is my motivation to help others, glorify God, or just relieve my guilt?”

Check the fruit you’re reaching for

When I’m sharing from the flesh, I want a specific response. I want it to land a certain way. I want reassurance. I want the other person to agree with me.

When I’m sharing from the Spirit, I can release the outcome. I can breathe. I can trust God to do what only God can do.

This line has steadied me so many times, the obedience is yours, the outcome is God’s.

Check the timing

Sometimes the message is true, but the timing is off.

And sometimes what we call “boldness” is actually just impatience. (I say that with love, because I’ve lived it.)

I’m convinced the Holy Spirit nudges us to share what needs sharing, with whom, and when.

I love how simple Scripture can be when our minds are noisy.

Galatians 5:25 (CSB) says, “If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.”

Keeping in step means we’re not dragging God behind us. And we’re not sprinting ahead trying to make something happen.

It means sharing from spirit or flesh becomes a daily choice. A pace. A posture.

Keeping in step often looks like a pause

Before you hit send. Before you start the story. Before you add the extra detail. Pause.

Sometimes I’ll literally sit there with my phone in my hand and whisper, “Holy Spirit, help me. What’s mine to say, and what’s mine to keep?”

Because sharing from spirit or flesh can change in the middle of the same conversation. You can start with a pure heart and then suddenly feel that itch for validation.

No shame. Just awareness.

Keeping in step includes community wisdom

One thing I’ve learned, God never intended for us to do any of this alone.

If you have safe women around you, ask them. “Does this sound like the Spirit?” “Is this wise?” “Is this too much?”

That kind of community can save us from sharing from spirit or flesh on impulse, and help us share from the Spirit with peace.

What if I realize I shared from flesh?

First, breathe.

Second, God is not shocked. He’s not mad that you’re learning. He’s a Father. He teaches us.

I’ve had moments where I overshared. Or I shared too soon. Or I shared for the wrong reason. And God met me with grace, not a lecture.

Accept grace for imperfect action. Obedience can be messy and awkward, and God rewards willingness more than polish.

A quick repair prayer

Here’s a simple prayer I’ve prayed when I realized I was sharing from spirit or flesh and it drifted into flesh.

Jesus, forgive me for trying to control this.
Holy Spirit, clean up what I can’t.
Help me be gentle and honest if I need to clarify or apologize.
Teach me for next time.

And then I let it go. Because we share out of freedom, not a need to control results.

Let’s get super practical. If you want to grow in sharing from spirit or flesh discernment, these steps help.

What does God want to communicate through my story?
Does this person need all the details, or just the hope?
Am I willing to trust God with the outcome?

Those are the kinds of questions that keep us grounded.

Practice healthy boundaries

This is not about being secretive. It’s about being wise.

Be honest, but don’t overshare. Honor your own healing process.
Not everyone has earned a front row seat to your whole story.
Graciously release the outcome, even if the moment gets awkward.

Those boundaries protect your heart and the other person’s heart too.

Let “peace” be a clue, not a formula

I used to want discernment to feel like a neon sign. Most of the time, it doesn’t.

But I have noticed this. When it’s the Spirit, even if I’m nervous, there’s a steady peace under it. When it’s the flesh, it’s frantic. It’s rushed. It’s like I can’t breathe until I say it.

And if you’re not sure? Ask Him. If you don’t know who it’s for, ask.

This isn’t just about us getting it right. It’s about love.

When we share from the Spirit, we create safety. We create space for someone else to say, “Me too.” We build community that looks like Jesus, gentle and honest.

And when we share from the flesh, we can accidentally put weight on people they weren’t meant to carry. We can look for something from them only God can give.

But we’re learning. Together.

Friend, your story matters. And you don’t have to tell everyone everything all at once. Even small, quiet shares can move mountains.

Let’s keep choosing sharing from spirit or flesh with intention. Let’s keep in step with Him. One conversation at a time.

With love and expectancy,
Jessica