Naming Your Grief With God Brings Freedom in Hard Chapters
Can I tell you something?
There’s a kind of relief that comes when you finally stop trying to be fine. Not because everything suddenly gets easier, but because you stop carrying it alone. That’s what naming your grief with god can do. It brings you into the light with Him. It gives your heart a place to exhale.
And if you’ve been living with that quiet heaviness you can’t explain, you’re not crazy. You’re not dramatic. You’re human. Sometimes the bravest thing we do is tell the truth about the chapter we’re in.
Why does naming your grief with god feel so hard?
How many of you have ever said “I’m fine” when you weren’t?
I have. More times than I can count. Sometimes I didn’t even mean to lie. I just didn’t have words yet. Or I didn’t want to make it a thing. Or I thought I should be past it by now.
But here’s what I’ve noticed in my own life and in conversations with women in our community. When we don’t name what hurts, it doesn’t disappear. It just gets quieter and heavier at the same time. And then it starts showing up in other places, our tone with our family, our patience, our prayer life, our ability to enjoy anything. That’s why naming your grief with god matters. It’s not about being dramatic. It’s about being honest.
We’re tempted to minimize what we’re carrying
Sometimes we only think grief counts if it has a funeral.
But grief can also look like, a friendship that changed, a move you didn’t want, a dream that never happened, a season of motherhood that ended before you were ready. These are everyday losses. Real losses.
And I think a lot of Christian women feel guilty calling it grief. Like we should just “be thankful” and move on. But gratitude and grief can sit in the same room. They can both be true.
We’re afraid of what comes out once we start talking
Sometimes we avoid naming your grief with god because we’re scared the sadness will take over. Like if we open the door, it won’t stop.
Friend, God is not asking you to spiral. He’s inviting you to come closer. There’s a difference.
And the truth is, He already knows. The naming isn’t for Him. It’s for you. It’s the moment your heart stops hiding.
What happens when you start naming your grief with god?
Here’s the thing. Naming doesn’t create the pain. It reveals it.
And once it’s revealed, you can actually receive comfort. You can pray like you mean it. You can ask for what you need. You can stop performing strength and start practicing trust.
Naming brings clarity, not chaos
I’ve had seasons where I felt off, snappy, tired, numb. And I kept telling myself it was hormones, or stress, or “just life.”
And sometimes it was.
But sometimes it was grief I hadn’t named yet. Once I said it out loud (even quietly, even in a journal), everything made more sense. That’s one of the sweetest gifts of naming your grief with god. It helps you stop guessing what’s wrong. You finally get to say, “This is what I’m carrying.”
Naming is one way we step into the light
There’s a kind of spiritual fog that lifts when we stop hiding. Not hiding from people, necessarily. But hiding from ourselves. Hiding from God with polished prayers and quick “I’m good.”
God doesn’t need your polished version. He wants you.
The honest version.
The one who can say, “Lord, I’m sad and I don’t know what to do with it.” That’s naming your grief with god. And that honesty is often where healing begins.
Psalm 139 shows us how to pray when words feel hard
Some days you don’t know what to say. You just know something is heavy.
This is where I love the simplicity of Psalm 139:23-24. It’s not a fancy prayer. It’s an open-door prayer.
Psalm 139:23-24 (CSB) says, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.”
I want you to notice something. The psalmist isn’t pretending. He’s inviting God to look closely. To point things out. To lead him.
That’s what naming your grief with god can look like in real life.
A simple prayer when you don’t know what to call it yet
You can pray it like this (in your own words, in your own voice).
God, search me. Show me what I’m feeling. Show me what I’ve been carrying. Help me tell the truth. And lead me forward.
Short. Honest. Safe.
God can handle what you find
If you’re worried about what God might uncover, I get it.
But the goal isn’t exposure for shame. It’s clarity for healing. God doesn’t shine light to embarrass you. He shines light to free you.
And naming your grief with god is often the first brave step.
How to name your grief with god in everyday life
Okay, let’s get practical. Because I know it’s easy to nod along and still not know what to do next.
Here are a few simple ways to practice naming your grief with god without making it complicated or heavy.
1) Start with one honest sentence
Not a paragraph. Not a perfect prayer.
One sentence.
- God, I’m grieving what changed.
- God, I miss who we used to be.
- God, I’m disappointed and I don’t want to be.
- God, I feel numb and I don’t know why.
This is naming your grief with god. Simple honesty.
2) Write it down (even if you never show anyone)
I love journaling for this. Not because it fixes everything, but because it slows me down enough to hear what’s going on inside.
Sometimes I’ll write, “Lord, I think I’m grieving…” and then I list what comes to mind. Plans. Relationships. Seasons. Expectations.
And as I write, I can feel my body relax. Like my heart is finally telling the truth.
3) Tell a safe person, not everyone
This part matters. Naming your grief with god doesn’t mean you owe your story to the whole internet or the whole church lobby.
But I do think God often uses safe community as part of healing. One trusted friend. A mentor. A counselor. A small group leader who knows how to be gentle.
You can start small, “I’m carrying more than I’ve admitted.” That’s enough to begin.
4) Ask God one direct question
If Psalm 139 feels like the starting place, here are a few questions you can ask God in prayer.
- God, what am I grieving that I haven’t named?
- God, what am I afraid to admit?
- God, what do You want to heal in me right now?
- God, who is safe for me to talk to?
Then pause. Breathe. Let silence be part of it.
Freedom grows when we stop hiding our hard chapter
But here’s what happened in my life when I started practicing naming your grief with god.
I stopped feeling so confused all the time. I stopped trying to “fix” myself with more effort. And I started letting God meet me in the real places. The places that felt messy. The places I wanted to skip.
And no, it didn’t make grief vanish. But it made me feel less alone in it. That’s a big deal.
Freedom isn’t pretending the chapter isn’t hard
Freedom is being able to say, “This is hard, and God is still with me.”
Freedom is not rushing your heart. It’s giving it room to heal with Jesus, and sometimes with people who love you well.
Freedom is letting your story be honest, not performative.
Your honesty can help someone else breathe again
I’ve watched it happen over and over. One woman shares a small piece of truth, and another woman feels her shoulders drop like, “Oh. Me too.”
That’s why naming your grief with god isn’t just personal. It’s community impact. It changes the way we show up for each other. It creates a church culture where women don’t have to fake it.
And that’s the kind of community I want to be part of.
A gentle next step you can take today
Okay, friend. One last question.
What’s the hard chapter you’ve been trying not to name?
You don’t have to post it. You don’t have to announce it. Just bring it to God. Practice naming your grief with god with one honest sentence today.
And if you can, pray Psalm 139:23-24 slowly. Let it be your permission slip to stop hiding. God is kind. He is close. And He is not afraid of your honest words.
We’re learning together. One honest conversation, one quiet prayer, one day at a time.
