Letting Go of Shame: Real Steps for Freedom and Hope in Christ Today
Can I tell you something? Letting go of shame isn’t easy. Especially when it comes to things we wish no one knew about. Maybe you have moments you replay, memories that bring a heavy ache, or choices you wish you could undo. If that's you, let’s pause here together. Let’s talk about what it means to really walk free—right now—because shame is a burden Jesus never intended for us to carry.
In our recent podcast episode, I sat across from a friend who knows this firsthand. Jamie’s story is raw, yes, but what shines brighter is how she learned the real meaning of letting go of shame. The journey wasn’t instant or effortless, but it became a clear picture of hope. I remember listening to Jamie share her heart, and it felt like we could all take a deep breath together—knowing freedom is possible, even here.
Why Does Letting Go of Shame Feel So Hard?
How many of you have experienced that inner voice reminding you of what you regret most? The one that says you’re not worthy, not enough, not truly forgiven? Letting go of shame can feel impossible when those lies sound so familiar. I see it all the time—in my own life, in groups I’ve led, in our church pews. Shame keeps us stuck, frozen, hiding out from the very grace that longs to set us free.
What’s wild is shame doesn’t just come from what we’ve done. It can build up from the pain we’ve lived through, the secrets we hold, even what others have said about us. But here’s what I’ve learned both in my own life and through friendships like Jamie’s: letting go of shame is less about forgetting our story and more about giving it to Jesus. He doesn’t ask us to pretend it never happened. He wants to meet us exactly where we are.
When Shame Feels Like a Wall Between You and God
Some days, shame is a wall. It blocks out peace. We end up working so hard to look “good enough” or serve enough, desperately hoping that will make the past go away. I remember early on in my faith, believing if I just cleaned myself up, prayed harder, or helped everyone else, maybe then I’d finally stop feeling not enough. But it never worked. The wall was still there, no matter how much I did.
In the episode, Jamie described that wall too. She became a “yes person” because it felt safer than facing her hidden hurts. Maybe you know that pattern. The truth is, Jesus never asked us to carry shame like a badge or try to outwork our regrets. He came to break those walls down.
What Does Letting Go of Shame Look Like in Real Life?
I used to think freedom from shame would come all at once—maybe if I had just the right prayer or church service. But in practice, letting go of shame is a process. And it's almost never pretty at first. It looks like honesty, not hiding. It looks like reaching out, sometimes through messy tears, as Jamie did during our healing group. It’s speaking truth in a safe place, not so we can relive our past but so we can hand it over, piece by piece, to the God who promises to make us new.
Scripture says it plain as day. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, and see, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17, CSB). I’ve quoted that verse to women in our community, but it never gets old. Letting go of shame starts with believing this is for us. Not just for the “really good” Christians or for someone who’s got a squeaky-clean track record. For you. For me.
What If I Can’t Forgive Myself?
This might be the question I hear more than any other. Ladies, can I be honest? We say it so often: “I just can’t forgive myself.” I’ve said those words, too. But here’s something I didn’t always know—nowhere in scripture does God ask us to forgive ourselves. He invites us to trust Him, to receive forgiveness from Him, and then walk forward in faith. Letting go of shame means trusting God’s forgiveness more than my own feelings. Every time that memory pops up, the answer isn’t to try harder. The answer is to turn—again—to Jesus, whose mercy is stronger than my regret.
That shift doesn’t happen overnight. But it’s real. In the podcast, Jamie talked about how trusting God’s forgiveness opened her heart to new peace. She didn’t have to keep punishing herself. She could finally lay it down.
Practical Steps for Letting Go of Shame and Living Free
Step One: Name What You’re Carrying
Letting go of shame begins with honesty. What if you sat still for a few minutes, asked God to shine His gentle light, and simply named what you’re carrying? Say it out loud. Write it on a piece of paper. There is no healing in hiding. It’s okay to bring the hard truths to God. He already sees, and He already loves you entirely.
Step Two: Receive God’s Grace As a Gift
Can I tell you something? Grace isn’t something we earn or deserve. It’s a gift, offered right in the places we feel weakest. Letting go of shame means believing Jesus’ sacrifice is enough—for every regret, every hidden corner of our past. You don’t have to make up for what’s forgiven. Accept His grace. Let it become the new story you tell yourself every single morning.
Step Three: Link Arms With Others
I remember the first time I shared my own story with someone I trusted. My hands shook. I wondered if they’d still look at me the same way. But what I found was not rejection, but belonging. Healing happens in community. Letting go of shame is easier when you know you’re not alone. That could look like joining a small group (like our Surrendering the Secret group mentioned in the podcast), talking with a trusted friend, or reaching out to a mentor or pastor.
Step Four: Keep Surrendering—Again and Again
Letting go of shame is rarely a one-time event. Sometimes you’ll think you’re free, and then an old wound creeps up again. That’s not failure—it’s an invitation to surrender one more time. Every day, ask God to help. Every day, hand Him your story. Speak the truth over your heart: “I am forgiven. The old is gone. The new is here.”
- Speak scripture out loud (even if it feels awkward at first)
- Pray honest prayers—God can handle your questions
- Remind yourself daily, with friends if needed, that you’re on a healing path
Letting Go of Shame Happens in Community
We need each other for this. In our church, our groups, and even in quiet conversations over coffee, real healing starts when we see someone else walk free and realize it can be true for us too. That’s part of why Jamie’s story (and so many others) matters—it’s a living reminder that God doesn’t waste pain. When we talk openly, seeds are planted. Hope is multiplied.
Does this sound familiar? Maybe you’re sure you’re too “far gone,” or that your story disqualifies you. But there is no such thing in Christ. Like Jamie said on the podcast, hope is always possible because Jesus is always present—and He never gives up on you, not for a second.
What To Do When Shame Creeps Back In
Just because you feel shame does not mean you are still bound by it. Letting go of shame is a daily practice for every believer, not a one-time “cure.” When those feelings show up, ask yourself whose voice you’re listening to. If it leads you back to isolation, fear, and hiding, it’s not from God. Go back to His promises. Find a verse, text a friend, or stop to pray. Every little step counts.
Hope and Next Steps for Letting Go of Shame
Friend, you are not alone. There are safe places and people who will walk this path with you. If you’re ready to take that next step—maybe joining a healing group, starting a conversation, or simply praying for the very first time—know that this is a holy moment. Letting go of shame isn’t about erasing your story. It’s about letting Christ write something brand new.
If you want more stories of hope and practical steps, listen to the full episode. Or check out other resources like How to Trust God in Unanswered Prayers and Finding Hope After Choices You Regret.
Let’s keep lifting each other up, reminding one another that freedom is not a myth. It’s God’s promise, and it’s possible for you and for all of us.
Letting go of shame is not denying your past—it’s trusting that God is bigger than it. Whatever your story, my friend, there’s hope here. There’s a new way to live. And you are so deeply loved.
