How to Forgive Myself Biblically and Trust God’s Grace
Can I ask you something? How many of us have said, "I know God forgives me, but I just can’t forgive myself?" Just that question alone has come up over and over in our community. It is one of the most honest struggles we face—especially when the pain and regret feel too deep. If you’ve ever asked how to forgive myself biblically, you’re not alone, friend.
In our latest podcast episode, we opened up about a topic that doesn’t get much airtime in church circles but weighs heavy on so many hearts—abortion and the fight for true forgiveness and freedom. My guest Jamie and I didn’t hold back. We talked about shame, hiding, checking off spiritual boxes, but never quite feeling at peace. But here’s the thing. Real forgiveness, especially forgiving yourself, has nothing to do with your own strength. It has everything to do with trusting God’s grace and letting His truth be louder than the enemy’s lies.
Why Is It So Hard to Forgive Myself, Even When I Know God Forgives Me?
I used to believe that forgiving myself was part of my "to-do list" as a Christian. Like, maybe after enough apologies and prayers and good deeds, the guilt would just fall off. Does that sound familiar? But our episode reminded me how many of us get stuck in this cycle—knowing God’s Word says we’re forgiven, but still living as if we’re not.
Here’s what I found. The question isn’t "how can I forgive myself biblically," but, "Can I trust that God already has, and live like I believe it?" That’s a game changer, my friend.
If you’ve prayed for forgiveness but still struggle with shame, you’re not broken. You’re just human. We don’t save or forgive ourselves. Christ does. It may sound simple, but living it out takes letting go—and it usually happens day by day, one surrendered step at a time.
Recognizing the Root of "I Can’t Forgive Myself"
We think we’re supposed to "just get over it." But the truth is, healing takes time. Guilt and regret aren’t always a lack of faith—they’re sometimes deep wounds that need care. It doesn’t mean you don’t believe God's promises. Sometimes, it just means you’re wounded and you need His touch in a new way.
What Does the Bible Actually Say About Forgiveness?
If you want to know how to forgive myself biblically, start with what God says, not what you feel. Here’s one of my favorites: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, and see, the new has come!" (2 Corinthians 5:17, CSB). I love how clear that is. The old is gone. God doesn’t hang your past over you. He says, "You’re new."
Too often, we let our feelings tell us what’s true instead of letting God’s Word lead our hearts. When God says we are forgiven, it’s settled. No takebacks. No footnotes. No waiting period.
Surrender vs. Striving
I remember talking with Jamie during our podcast recording, and this line keeps coming back to me—real healing started when she stopped striving and started surrendering. So many of us white-knuckle our guilt because we think it will make us better, stronger, or less likely to mess up again. But Jesus already paid the debt. Our only job is to receive it. That’s what it means to live out how to forgive myself biblically: we place the weight of our shame and regret on Him, not ourselves.
How Do I Put Forgiveness Into Practice When the Past Still Hurts?
Here’s something I hear all the time: "I know I’m forgiven, but memories keep coming back." Maybe it’s a decision you regret, a relationship, or even words you wish you could take back. The enemy is so quick to heap shame and regrets. But you don’t have to give those thoughts the final say.
Daily Steps for Living in God’s Forgiveness
- Start your day by saying, "God, I receive your grace today." Even if your feelings haven’t caught up yet.
- When shame or regret pop up, answer with the truth: "In Christ, I am a new creation." (2 Corinthians 5:17, CSB)
- Confide in a trusted friend or join a Christ-centered support group. We need each other.
- Don’t keep replaying old mistakes. Release them in prayer every single time they come up. You can say, "Jesus, I give this back to you. You already paid for it."
- Serve someone else or reach out to help another. Nothing reminds us of grace like using our story for good.
This is what learning how to forgive myself biblically looks like. It isn’t a quick fix, and it’s not about stuffing the past down. It’s about walking each day with your eyes on Jesus, not on your own record.
What If I Don’t Feel Forgiven?
Can I tell you something? You’re not alone in that. There was a long season in my own life when I felt stuck between knowing God’s promises and actually feeling the peace He offers. For Jamie, it took time after her initial step towards healing before her heart started catching up with her head. And that’s okay. The feelings don’t always come before the breakthrough. Sometimes, faith looks like saying "I trust you, God" before you feel it.
Real Repentance Brings Freedom
Sometimes we confuse ongoing guilt with "holy sorrow." But once you have confessed and turned from that thing, it’s finished. Don’t run circles around what Jesus already settled. Let His forgiveness set the pace for your new life. This is a core part of how to forgive myself biblically—keep coming back to His work, not yours.
Friend, your feelings will catch up. Keep asking God to renew your mind. Surround yourself with community and resources that reflect His grace, not constant reminders of your past.
Why True Forgiveness Is About Trusting God, Not Ourselves
Here’s another truth from our recent episode. We don’t actually have the power to forgive ourselves, just like we can’t save ourselves. We can trust what God already did for us. That’s what biblical forgiveness looks like—it’s trust, not performance. We’re only called to surrender. Rest in that, even when your story feels unfinished.
Let Go of the Need for Control
I get it. Control feels safer than trust, especially if you’ve been hurt or let down before. But forgiveness asks us to loosen our grip. Jesus can handle the parts of our history, shame, and regret that we never could. When we finally let go, there’s space for peace instead of constant striving.
Grace Changes Everything (Even When You Don’t See It Yet)
If you’re wondering how to forgive myself biblically, start here: God is not holding your past against you. He is not waiting for you to "feel" forgiven before He accepts you. We are forgiven because He is faithful. Every story in God’s Word reminds us—no one is too far for God, and no choice is above His mercy.
In our podcast episode, Jamie shared how God took the hardest chapters in her life and turned them into a testimony—not because she figured it all out, but because she trusted Him with her pain. She didn’t keep sharing her story out of guilt, but out of gratitude. That’s the kind of forgiveness that leads to freedom.
Moving Forward With His Grace
- Keep seeking God daily, even when you don’t feel it.
- Speak the truth of God’s Word over your life, again and again.
- Remember your story isn’t finished—God still has good things ahead, even after regret.
- Ask for community help (groups like Surrendering the Secret or Made Whole Community can help).
You’re not alone if you need reminders. That’s why our community is here. Healing and walking in forgiveness isn’t a solo sport. It's a family thing. God uses each of us to point each other back to His grace, again and again.
Ready to Take the First Step?
My encouragement to you is simple. Start where you are. If you have never talked to God honestly about your regret, do that today. Don’t worry about fancy words. Just tell Him the truth you have. He already knows it. Then—this is the big one—ask Him to help you trust His forgiveness is enough, even when it’s hard to let go. That is how to forgive myself biblically.
If you’re ready for more, join a Bible study, or talk with someone who’s walked this road. Our episode with Jamie is full of relatable wisdom, and it will remind you that there is always hope, even when you don’t feel it yet.
Remember, you do not have to carry yesterday into tomorrow. Christ’s grace is bigger than your biggest regret. Our community has walked this out before, and we’ll walk it with you, hand in hand, as God continues to write His story of freedom in your life.
If this resonated with you, listen to the full podcast episode, or reach out for support. Let me know how I can pray for you or connect you with the resources that made a difference in my own life. And friend, never forget that even small shifts in perspective—just a little more trust in God’s grace today—can change everything. You don’t have to figure out forgiveness on your own. Let God's Word and our community cheer you on as you take each next step.
For more hope-filled conversations, check out our episode archive or join one of our support groups. Let’s keep putting real perspectives into practice, together.
